Sidekick Sam

Prompt: I am a sidekick and the hero is on vacation. 10/9/10

Dear Diary,

            Stupid Abdo-man!  One close call with a sub-par bad guy and he screams vacation, packs his Speedo and toothbrush, and heads for Reno.  I mean, really – Reno?  Meanwhile I get demoted to Sanitational Engineer for his secret Abdo-cave.  Disgusting! 

            Wait – is that the Mayor’s Phone?  Hang on.

Dear Diary,

            Me again.  You’ll never guess who that was.  The mayor!  The city is under attack by evil mutant marsupials hell-bent on stealing every ounce of fluoride fortification destined for our city water supply.  What will the children of our city do without fluoride fortification in their drinking water!  What should I do?

            I tried contacting Abdo-man, but everyone knows you can’t clip a cell phone on a Speedo.  I tried brushing the mayor off – but he is so convincing.  I mean … even I voted for him.  Twice!  But the man is useless!  All he knows how to do is cry for Abdo-man when there is the slightest sign of trouble! 

            ‘Help, Abdo-man!  The electric company has been taken over by floating non-aquatic electric eels demanding their own reality show.’  ‘Help, Abdo-man! The city is overrun by signing aliens.’  ‘Help, Abdo-man!  The citizens are complaining about high taxes and the media can’t think of a compelling distraction.’

            But Abdo-man is gone.  This time it will be up to … Sidekick Sam.  I gotta get a better moniker. 

Dear Diary,

            Well, that was anticlimactic.  I rushed out to save the day and it appears the hell-bent mutant marsupials were super-allergic to this eco-friendly, non-chemical, all-purpose cleaner I use all the time here in the Abdo-cave. 

            Squirt, squirt. Scream, scream. Writhe, writhe. Die.

            Who knew!  This hero stuff’s not so hard!


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